Image:
The pictures have been carefully selected and fit well with the background of the story. The lights around the “shimmer” make the machine look mysterious. In addition, the description of the picture is very clear, I can understand what the picture is. The only error in the picture is that the “slimmer” has no door. In the story, the lady in charge with slimmer slammed the door after Deb walked in. Therefore, I think there should be a door for the machine.
Headline:
The headline is clear and easy for the reader to understand. It might be better if you could choose some title with more attractive words because the title now only lets the reader know you are introducing the machine.
Content:
The words in the news are very engaging. The news’ order is well organized, like the order of lead paragraph, explanation and additional information, and it is very realistic of the part at the end of the news where it asks readers to continue to follow. The way to write this news like an interview team is very fascinating, and the news is connected to the story with some true facts, but I think there are too many questions that the reader might feel tired of when they are reading. Another problem is the picture in the middle of the news took too much space, and there are empty spaces beside the picture. It might be better if the words could surround the picture.
Hi Grayden
Here is your feedback:
Image:
The pictures have been carefully selected and fit well with the background of the story. The lights around the “shimmer” make the machine look mysterious. In addition, the description of the picture is very clear, I can understand what the picture is. The only error in the picture is that the “slimmer” has no door. In the story, the lady in charge with slimmer slammed the door after Deb walked in. Therefore, I think there should be a door for the machine.
Headline:
The headline is clear and easy for the reader to understand. It might be better if you could choose some title with more attractive words because the title now only lets the reader know you are introducing the machine.
Content:
The words in the news are very engaging. The news’ order is well organized, like the order of lead paragraph, explanation and additional information, and it is very realistic of the part at the end of the news where it asks readers to continue to follow. The way to write this news like an interview team is very fascinating, and the news is connected to the story with some true facts, but I think there are too many questions that the reader might feel tired of when they are reading. Another problem is the picture in the middle of the news took too much space, and there are empty spaces beside the picture. It might be better if the words could surround the picture.