Identity Sway



I feel like I communicate my ideas and my experiences good enough in this essay about values. I’ve provided an example for each of my points, though I’m not sure if they’ve been executed well. My explanations are detailed enough to give an idea of how a certain thing has shaped my identity. They are short stories, little pieces of my experiences in life that I think are the most significant ones, significant enough to have shaped my identity drastically. Some improvement is needed when it comes to the vocabulary I used. It seems a bit too basic in my opinion and I want to use more advanced vocabulary for future essays. Another area that I think needs more improvement is describing more about my feelings in those life experiences. Describing those feelings may be relatable to the reader and also might give an idea of how things were back then. They can also tell a bit more about the author’s personality. I would like to add more description about these feelings I’ve experienced in similar essays in the future.

Personal & Social:

A lot of the points and explanations in this story are personal and normally involved a lot of socialization. All of the examples I’ve told in the story are my own personal experiences, experiences that have shaped me into who I am today. One of my examples in the value ‘family’ included a lot of socializing between me and my family. I’ve also included some information about my culture and what kind of people there are in my family. When I talked about love, a lot of the feelings I’ve described were personal yet deep as well. To me, I feel like a lot of what I’ve said about love is too personal and dark for school. In future essays, I wish to improve on this and talk about things on a lighter perspective.

One thought on “Identity Sway

  1. Good job on your assignment and reflection Enda. I have fixed your Sway – be sure to use the embed code and not the link when inserting it into your post. 5.

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